Time to Commit the Twitter Twit

Franklin, Contributor

For all the blistering criticism facing the Facebook, they finally did something laudable this last week when they banned dangerous morons like Alex Jones, Milo Yiannopoulos, Louis Farrakhan, and a few other deplorables from their social media site.  Of course, Trump, aka Twitler, decided that the best use of his presidential executive time on a Saturday morning was to defend these hate-mongering, anti-Semitic, conspiracy-loving shitheads by claiming that they were the victims of unwarranted censorship. He went on to talk about how social media was biased against conservatives… Well, if that’s whose speech conservatives choose to cherish, then maybe there is some bias?

Well, alt-right dumbasses, that’s correct! Social media is, indeed, biased against people who promote hate speech and violence. In fact, it’s a perverse modern miracle that Trump’s even allowed to tweet out his banal, hate-filled bullshit when he ought to be, well, doing his job! That’s true, even if half of Twitler’s Twitter followers are Russian bots or Rudy Giulliani using multiple assumed identities.

As a Canine-American, I have more dignity, honor, and self-respect when I secretly eat cat turds out of the litterbox than when Trump Twitler crazy tweets at all hours from his gaudy gilded commode. Ooops- did I say that out loud?

I mean, the truly sad part is that this imbecile currently has a 46% approval rating and that fully a third of Americans thinks he’s doing a bang-up job. Of course, these same people thought Duck Dynasty and Honey-Boo were national treasures and wholeheartedly believe professional wrestling is real. They also think Betsy DeVos put the ‘y’ in education. They delight in ignorance, cruelty, and selfishness. Sadly, they require saving from themselves.

Look, it’s time to commit the Twitter twit. Trump isn’t making America great again, he’s lining his pockets and pissing on every last thing we hold dear in this country. It’s not just the documented ten thousand lies, it’s his blatant obstruction of justice, money laundering, and penchant for putting self-serving dipshits in charge of government agencies whose sole objectives are chaos and destruction. Trump needs to be committed to a penal or mental health facility. It’s not just his perpetual demeaning of the presidency or obviously criminal acts, it’s his unrelenting bigotry and peevish partisanship that’s turning America into a third-world autocracy.

Trump has triggered a constitutional crisis by ignoring Congressional subpoenas and illegally resisting any type of oversight or accountability. His Republican sycophants are willing accomplices and, they too, do not deserve the offices they hold. It’s time to hold Trump accountable on a very short leash. To commit to voting him out of office or committing him to a place where he’ll feel comfortable wearing his natural color, orange.

He has no business being in the White House when he exhibits conduct that’s suited for the Big House. Folks, it’s only going to get worse as he remains in the Oval Office. We’ve got to ensure the investigations continue, and more importantly, that we vote his sorry ass out in 2020, if he’s not already facing impeachment.

Our government works when we, the people (and enlightened Canine-Americans), hold it accountable. I mean, we saw this coming when we found out that there’d be no dog in the White House. I don’t think it’s because he didn’t want one, I think it’s because dogs have good sense about people and no dog wanted to be around him. It’s just a theory.

So, let’s quit chasing our tails and let’s wake up from our national nightmare. Americans are what make America great- in all their wonderful diversity and their commitment to authentic American values.

Trump and his ilk have no values and no conscience. It’s time to commit the twit.

A Cable from The TWENTYTWENTYNEWS.COM Bunker

It’s been a hot second since we’ve really talked. Like most folks, the staff here at twentytwentynews.com has been mildly nauseous since Trump took office and has seriously contemplated professional day-drinking as a viable career change. We’re not too sure what to think about the score of Democrats running in the primary or about how the investigations will be play out to finally nail the Teflon Orange Don to a big, beautiful wall.  We’ve got some diverse options to choose from and even a few septuagenarian white guys. Yet, we seem to be overwhelmed with a virulent type of political PTSD and feeling triggered.

At our last staff meeting, Franklin suggested that twentytwenty should recruit more writers and continue to provide even more creative and dynamic liberal content. He then chased his own tail in a dervish circle for ten minutes before collapsing and napping until he heard his kibble hit the bowl.  These things happen when your editor is a Canine-American… hey, don’t misinterpret that…

Soon, we’re planning to launch our new podcast which was inspired by the “All That’s Left” radio show which aired weekly for three hours live on conservative talk radio, WVNN, from February 2016 to February 2017. It starred Alabama’s Most Hated Liberal Voice, Clete Wetli. Although surrounded by right-wing lunacy, “All That’s Left” bravely took on the mindless Trump sycophants who called in to the show. The show caused quite a stir in Northern Alabama. Conservatives everywhere broke out in hives and couldn’t even sleep for fear of being “Woke”. More importantly, it proved that even on a red-meat, conspiracy-obsessed, fact-free, and propaganda infused radio hellscape, that there was an enthusiastic audience for insightful and entertaining liberal talk. The show’s been off the air for two years and people still remember Conservative Clown of the Week and You Gotta Love a Liberal.

So, stay tuned. Twentytwentynews is about to relaunch “All That’s Left” as a podcast! It’s going to be different, edgy, and unrestrained. Big changes have been made to the show and it promises to be better than ever!

At Twentytwenty we’re renewing our focus on articulating sound liberal opinion and messaging on issues that most affect you. It’s time for strong liberal voices to be heard and for that message to get out to voters. For too long, conservatives have had a stranglehold on media in deep red states like Alabama. This is why twentytwentynews keeps daring to take a loud, courageous stand. Liberal voices matter, and we will continue to fight for what we believe in.

With so many candidates in the primary, it’s easy for the overall message to get lost. Democrats proudly stand for working people. Democrats want a responsible, ethical government that puts the interests of the American people first. Democrats work tirelessly to ensure that all Americans have equal rights and equal opportunities under the law. We are the party of the people, in all their wonderful diversity.

Our messaging must come from the heart and share the personal, gripping stories of real people. For too long, we’ve stayed mired in the weeds of over-analysis, pedantic explanation, and pithy punditry. We need to frame our issues clearly, concisely, and passionately.  We get beat by morons because our messaging gets diffused and distorted.

So, as we take a deep breath before the impending political battle, we will stay focused on our liberal platform and progressive agenda. We will advocate sound policy and legislation that works for all Americans, not just a privileged few. We must gain control of our country again and put the conservative extremist voices on the fringe, where they truly belong. Stay tuned to twentytwentynews.com on the web and on social media.  I’m heading back to the secret underground bunker with Franklin and Jerry Waters- we’re about to take a beef jerky and Skittles break before resuming our heated discussion regarding world domination by liberals. Message us if you have a piece you’d like to see published. Raise your voice and keep your pencils sharp. Carpe Diem!

Trump and the blowing wind

Clete Wetli, Contributor

“If Hillary got in you wouldn’t have that stat, I can tell you right now. You would be doing wind, windmills and if it doesn’t — if it doesn’t blow you can forget about television for that night. [Laughter] Darling, I want to watch television. I’m sorry, the wind isn’t blowing. I know a lot about wind. I know a lot about wind.”- Donald J. Trump, MAGA Rally, Grand Rapids, Michigan – March 28, 2019

Yes, if Trump knows anything, he is undoubtedly an expert on blowing wind. Many people are saying that, believe me.

He has blown wind for his entire life and he knows more than his generals and scientists about it.

So, here we are. Two years and thousands of lies later. Our debt at historic levels and our institutions under a constant, corrosive attack by people whose only motivation is preserving their power and increasing their personal ill-begotten wealth. In truth, that is where we are.

In science, every human eye has a blind spot that corresponds to the placement of the optic nerve within the retina where there are no photoreceptors. In all their wisdom, the Founding Fathers never anticipated the blind spot of Trump in our democracy. It seemed that they thought that the electorate would never choose someone who was so hell bent on wreaking havoc on our political norms or who was so uniquely and blatantly unqualified to lead. In fact, it was never even considered that we might elect a leader who was intrinsically incapable of coherent thought or formulating complete sentences. Yet, here we are.

Listening to the blowing wind and suffocating on the stench it brings.

This week, I spoke with gleeful Trump cult followers that were simply drunk on the idea that Barr’s shameful initial synopsis of the Mueller Report seemed to clear Trump of Russian collusion.  I listened to their cacophonous illogical explanations and obtuse justifications of Trump’s obvious lies and unethical conduct. Ironically, without exception, each Trump zealot would reluctantly admit that they thought he was a terrible person in one capacity or another. They would cite his continual lies or his infidelity or his lack of ethics or his obvious criminal financial self-dealings. Yet, they would always circle back to supporting him because they thought he was on their side.

They were overjoyed to suck his wind.

Yes, a third, to perhaps half of our country gleefully breathes the foul air that blows from Trump’s rank wind-hole. They seemingly can’t get enough. They find it liberating, intoxicating, and elevating. They are like addicts who make any excuse for another hit of Trump; no matter how insane and no matter the consequence.

We’re two years in and I’m not exactly sure how to fight this effectively. Initially, I thought the truth might be an antidote, but it has sadly failed.  I am slowly coming to the realization that this is less about changing them and more about galvanizing those who refuse to breathe in the wind he blows. That, maybe, we need to put aside our single issue causes and learn to fight together for a greater good. The Republicans figured that out when they employed Grover Norquist’s strategy of, “We know what direction to go. We just need a president to sign this stuff. Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to be president of the United States.”  Well, he may have small digits, but they got exactly what they asked for. A useful idiot who can blow wind and sign decrees.

So, I write this tonight because I feel it’s imperative that we continue to resist and continue to fight for what we know in our hearts is true and right and American.

Trump may know a lot about blowing wind, but we know a lot more about truth and what it will really take for America to find its soul again.  2020 is coming and, soon, a fresh invigorating wind will blow from a different direction and it will bring a new season of hope and desperately needed change.

How did a probate judge get the power to overturn Roe v. Wade?

Clete Wetli, Contributor

With all of the hypocritical right-wing pearl clutching over ‘activist judges’ making law from the bench, it’s shocking that newly elected Madison County, AL Probate Judge Frank Barger felt like it was in his limited judicial purview to grant an aborted fetus the right to have an estate and an attorney in an obvious underhanded ploy to overturn Roe v. Wade. What’s equally stunning is that Barger doesn’t even have a law degree because it’s not currently a requirement to hold the position. But, he has somehow decided that he can upend centuries of precedent and grant legal rights to an aborted fetus in a clearly misguided attempt to prosecute a woman who simply did not violate the law when she decided to have a legal abortion.

What makes this rogue Probate Judge’s actions so despicable is that he’s using a recently passed Alabama ‘personhood’ statute to justify his blatant, religiously-motivated overreach.  The obviously unconstitutional Alabama law that was passed during the last midterm elections states that a fetus and mother have equal rights under the law and it was a highly partisan political attempt to make abortion illegal in the state in direct defiance of Roe v. Wade. In this particular case, the suit was filed two years after the abortion occurred which suggests that, again, this is a scheme designed to circumvent established constitutional law and precedent.

Sadly, this could lead to an enormous amount of very negative legal consequences if this absurdity is upheld. In short, it implies that all abortions are murder and because murder has no statute of limitations, it would open up legal liability to any woman alive who ever had an abortion. That’s just wrong in every way imaginable. But, that’s been the plan of extremist conservatives all along.

That’s what’s terrifying about Trump stacking the Supreme Court with ultra-conservative white bread frat boys who view their position on the high court as a chance to infuse their religious and extreme conservative beliefs into lasting legal precedent. This is dangerous and this must be stopped. Women should never be criminalized for exercising their right to choose or for making decisions about their own bodies.

The biggest outrage in this pathetic ploy is how conservatives have branded themselves for decades as the ‘law and order’ party, yet they continue to show no regard for the Constitution when it serves their political advantage. Whether it’s equal rights or equal pay for women, extremist Republicans have continued to try to pass laws that ensure women will be treated as second-class citizens. This latest bizarre and unethical plan is just another example of what conservatives and their religious zealot base thinks of women.

It’s time to demand that Probate Judge Frank Barger be impeached for his ignorant judicial malpractice. It’s also time to demand that Probate Judges in Madison County actually have a law degree as a pre-requisite to holding office. Next, people should demand that Alabama rescind its unconstitutional abortion laws because they are in direct conflict with existing federal law. After this horrific fiasco, Republicans have no right whatsoever to utter complaints about ‘activist’ judges.

In this unfortunate case, the woman who had the legal abortion deserves our sincere support She does not deserve public censure, not vengeful prosecution, and certainly not mountains of legal bills so that rabid Republicans can throw more red meat to their far-right religious base as they try to out-conservative each other. This is simply a travesty.

Let’s stand up for women and fight this judicial overreach. Probate judges shouldn’t be making any type of decisions in a legal matter such as this. Shame on you, Probate Judge, with no law degree, Barger. We can only hope you’re looking for another job in the next trimester.

‘Repeatedly and brazenly’- Republicans’ disdain for the law

Franklin, Contributor

While more details emerge about the decades-long white-collar crime spree of former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, Special Counsel Robert Mueller just released a heavily redacted 800-page memo advocating harsh federal sentencing for Manafort due to his deliberately, ‘repeatedly and brazenly’, violating the law for decades. Repeatedly and brazenly.

It’s a recurring and despicable theme in the dark era of Trump. If you’re a rich older white guy, the rules just don’t apply to you. It’s what happens when extreme capitalism conspires with Machiavellianism whilst having an obsessive affair with status-inspired vanity. It’s the only sensible explanation for Manafort’s $15,000 ostrich-leather jacket or his insane expenditures of over $900,000 in five years on designer suits.

Repeatedly and brazenly.

This outrageous disdain for the law and Constitutional norms is evident in every one of Trump’s appointments or picks for senior level positions. It’s obvious in his bullshit declaration of a national emergency on the southern border; yet, his previous declaration of a national emergency on the American opioid epidemic was simply flaccid and clearly inadequate. It was brash and shamelessly apparent in Trump’s tax plan that shifted more money to those sitting on mountains of cash at the expense of the working-class and poor.

Repeatedly and brazenly; rinse and repeat.

When Republicans consciously and intentionally decided to be Trump’s bitch, they prostituted their party and ideals in a way seldom seen in political history. They did it because they believe crap like Joe diGenova, former U.S. attorney and Kool-Aid drinking Republican, said recently to Fox News’ Laura Ingraham, “We are in a civil war in this country. There’s two standards of justice, one for Democrats one for Republicans. The press is all Democrat, all liberal, all progressive, all left. They hate Republicans, they hate Trump. So, the suggestion that there’s ever going to be civil discourse in this country for the foreseeable future is over. It’s not going to be. It’s going to be total war. And as I say to my friends, I do two things – I vote and I buy guns.”

Repeatedly and brazenly, they espouse a bizarre amalgam of greed, white supremacy, entitlement, privilege, and xenophobia. And it’s happening because Trump is literally the extreme conservative icon’s dream of an ideal president, as articulated in 2012 by Grover Norquist, who claimed the ideal president would be “a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen.” Republicans sold their souls for a debaucherous grifter, man-child who could do just that to advance their perverse political agenda.

Repeatedly and brazenly.

As we endure the constant and startling atrocities of Trump and his ilk, we should somehow remain optimistic that our nation will survive this assault on our sacred norms and proud institutions. Surely, Republicans are not genuinely proud of Trump or the immoral swamp he represents. Certainly, they will repent and regroup as the inevitable indictments fall and the ugly truth of his corruption and moral bankruptcy is irrefutably exposed. And not just Trump’s, but all his cronies who have engaged in the same type of reprehensible and obviously illegal behavior. We must remain steadfast that they, indeed, are not above the law.

Don’t think that Democrats or others aren’t prone to this sort of repeated and brazen illegality. The difference is that we hold our own responsible. Just ask Al Franken. And, true, there are those like former President Clinton who got away with egregious misconduct, yet liberals can still claim the moral high ground by committing to doing what’s morally right, particularly as we move forward. It matters that Democrats, in spite of their failures, continue to adhere to the highest ethical standards. If we don’t, we become them.

Repeatedly and brazenly and wittingly.

It’s time to remember that the goal of public service isn’t power, it’s all about making our nation a more perfect union. Our adherence to our American values is the only thing we should be doing repeatedly and brazenly.

Oh, and fuck all those greedy, immoral self-indulgent traitors like Paul Manafort… He truly deserves what he’s about to get and we can only hope it’s repeatedly and brazenly in federal prison.

When There’s No Middle Ground

twentytwentynews, middle ground

Clete Wetli, Contributor

The midterm post-mortems and finger-pointings have already commenced, and Alabama Democrats are bewildered, frustrated, and apoplectic. A red tsunami of straight ticket voting overwhelmed any wishful hope of a blue wave. Yet, Alabama Democrats keep making the same mistake they’ve made since Republicans stormed the statehouse and scorched the earth behind them. Alabama Democrats keep believing that there’s a philosophical or political middle ground and it simply doesn’t exist.

The Republicans know this and it’s why they’ve adopted the bullying and deceitful practices of Trump. They’ve figured out how to keep their base gorged on red meat and how to game the system to their own advantage through gerrymandering, voter suppression, and incendiary, deliberately misleading propaganda. This last election wasn’t about issues, it was about Republicans vilifying and demonizing their opposition. All who opposed them were labeled as ‘socialists’ or ‘un-American’ or a pejorative ‘other’.

They have deliberately eradicated the middle ground because it’s easier to maintain power by systematically dehumanizing the opposition. Sadly, Democrats keep trying to intellectualize and negotiate and compromise with an opposition that doesn’t respect them and seeks their complete political annihilation. While Alabama Republicans are thinking six moves ahead, Democrats remain stunned and paralyzed.

If Alabama Democrats are going to rise from the ashes of irrelevance, they need to remove their failed state party leadership and they need to do it immediately. They need a compelling, populist message that embraces their liberal ideals. It’s time to embrace the party platform and quit pretending there’s a lukewarm middle ground on issues like taxation, healthcare, gun control, and infrastructure. If you’re going to call yourself a Democrat, act like one and fight like one.

Democrats have allowed the conservative propaganda machine to go unchallenged. In a state where liberal media is non-existent, it’s the height of irony to hear conservative talk radio and television hosts decry fake news and liberal bias daily. Yet, Democrats won’t buy air time and they allow the conservative echo chamber to metastasize. While conservative Republicans saturate the airwaves with their messaging year-round, Democrats seem to give it a half-hearted try every two years and then act perplexed when it doesn’t resonate immediately.

Alabama Democrats had great candidates this past election cycle in spite of a dysfunctional state party that seemed to hinder more than help. So, it’s time to get back to work right now and not wait another year to clean house. It’s time to realize that in this hyper-partisan environment, there’s no middle ground and no one believes that “moderate” is a winning strategy. There is no excuse for not fielding viable candidates to challenge Republicans in every race. There is no excuse for allowing Worley and Reed to remain in their positions for another moment. There is no excuse for poor messaging or for failing to get the message out.

Alabama Democrats face certain extinction if they don’t change strategy and tactics. They must come to understand that the Republicans have ceded no middle ground and that it’s delusional to pretend any exists. Alabama Democrats desperately needs leadership with vision and a plan. They need to call an emergency meeting to show Worley and Reed the door and give people a reason to get involved. It starts with taking a bold stand and demanding immediate action. There’s no time to lick wounds or point fingers. There’s no room in the party for people that won’t get behind the platform or readily embrace its ideals.

Forget about that fictional blue dog. Not only will that dog not hunt, it ran away a long time ago and it’s not coming back.

We’re still with you, Wasyluka!

twentytwentynews, wasyluka

Franklin, Contributor

Now that the midterm election hangover is starting to wear off, there was one race that really stood out to the folks here at twentytwentynews.com and that was the powerful campaign of Amy Wasyluka for Alabama State Senate District 2. Her message was genuine and simple. Her energy was fierce and relentless. Her campaign staff and volunteers were loyal and dedicated.  She almost defeated the onslaught of straight ticket voting because she ran an amazing campaign that inspired people. Wasyluka gave us something to vote for instead of trying to convince us to just vote against the opposition.

After a gut-wrenching defeat by a mere few hundred votes, Wasyluka was back to work immediately, encouraging others to get involved in progressive causes and to engage in making their communities better. Wasyluka simply embodies the kind of leadership and character we need to move Alabama forward. She ran a positive campaign focused on healthcare, education, and infrastructure. We’re all praying that she decides to run again.

The Wasyluka campaign also showed us why it’s so important for more women to run for office. For her, healthcare and women’s issues weren’t an exercise in abstract empathy. She’s lived them. She became a voice for women who feel disenfranchised and ignored by a political system that seems to only recognize older, white men. Wasyluka knocked on countless doors and listened to the people of her district. She told us her story and we all felt like we got to know a dedicated, honest person instead of a duplicitous politician. It seemed like every day, she had something new and personal to say on social media. Wasyluka won our hearts.

Hopefully, Wasyluka will run again. During her campaign, she certainly inspired other women to get involved in the political process. In Alabama, that’s something we desperately need as women continue to be sorely underrepresented and marginalized.

In sharp contrast, Republican Kay Ivey won the governorship without doing much of diddly or squat. In fact, no one even knows what the hell she stands for or what her plans are for the state. The only people inspired by her victory are extremist Republicans who know that she’ll blindly rubber stamp any regressive laws that they throw across her desk.

So, as Democrats are still gathering signs to take to the Green Team for recycling and trying to figure out how they got decimated in the midterms, they ought to pause a moment and look at what worked in the Wasyluka campaign. First, she was genuine and always herself. She proposed real, workable solutions and gave people something they could vote for. She was running for something, rather than running against someone. Second, she worked with enthusiasm and spent every moment believing she could win. Her attitude was energetic, positive, and infectious. Third, she used social media to tell her story, rather than using it as a place to try and sell a political product or ideology. Last, she never muddied the waters. Her message was simple, understandable, and steady.

The people who worked on her campaign would do it all over again tomorrow. If you’ve worked in politics any length of time you probably know that not many other campaigns could make that type of claim. Wasyluka made us into believers. We saw that with her vision and her leadership, it was possible.

So, before we get distracted by the next stupid thing Trump does or the next embarrassing scandal or the next round of Republican dumb-assery emanating from Montgomery- let’s take a moment to learn from the Wasyluka campaign. At twentytwentynews.com, we were paying attention because we saw what a great Democratic campaign should look like in Alabama and why more brilliant, dedicated women like Amy Wasyluka need to run for public office.

We’re still with you, Wasyluka!

Ain’t no confusion about that collusion

trump, russia, collusion

Franklin, Contributor

The indictments keep coming and our witless President keeps tweeting his desperate protests that there was no collusion between his campaign and the Russians. Well, except for that meeting in Trump Tower with his son, campaign manager, and a few Russians to discuss, um, um, “adoption”. Or, that time when Kushner tried to open a secret back channel to talk with the Russians because, um, um, well, just because. Or, that little meeting that was arranged by Betsy Davos’ brother, founder of Blackwater, in the Seychelle islands that was meant to be a secret meeting with Russians tied to the Kremlin about Russia’s involvement with Iran, but fake news people ratted him out. Or, Carter Page or Paul Manafort. Or, Trump’s lawyer, Cohen, trying to build a Trump Tower in Moscow.

I mean, except for those couple of (several dozen) times and about twenty others that all have, um, um, very logical explanations.

I mean if you can’t trust a president whose friends pay off Playboy Playmates and porn star mistresses to keep quiet about their affairs, who can you trust? Old, fake news, right? Maybe, Putin can be trusted because he gave Trump his word that he’d never, never, never meddle in our elections and even offered to pinky swear to show his sincerity. Putin’s people don’t talk and, if they do, it can take years to find the bodies.

All those reports about Russians loaning Trump piles of money and buying his gaudy over-gilded properties is not, um, money-laundering, um, um, I mean it’s not collusion, it’s just business.

Trump keeps saying there’s no collusion and when he doubles down, like on Obama’s birth certificate or the Central Park Five or “clean” coal or a wall that Mexico will pay for, we know he’s, um, well, committed to the idea. We also know that he’ll do just about anything to get what he wants. Like that time he hired a bunch of illegal immigrants to build Trump Tower and didn’t pay them or the time he flagged rental applications to prevent black people from living in his properties or all the times he lied about his wealth to intimidate others or… well, you get the point.

So, maybe Trump has engaged in some secrets or illegal cooperation or conspiracies, in order to cheat or deceive others a few times in his life… oh, um, shit, that’s the actual definition of collusion. That basically describes Trump’s entire career in real estate and his romantic life. But, hey, the past is the past and Trump wants us to believe that neither he or his campaign wittingly conspired with the Russians to win the election or to amass wealth illegally.

So, Mueller just indicted thirteen Russians for trying to influence the election and for duping witless Trump campaign operatives. Well, that’s not exactly exoneration with the investigation ongoing and more Trump associates making plea deals and secretly meeting with the Special Counsel. But, hey, it’s just a witch-hunt, a hoax, a bunch of loser Democrats claiming that there’s collusion, right?

Let me help clear this up, “Ain’t no confusion about Trump’s collusion!” So much evidence of Trump’s cozy relationship with Russia and their rubles is already public record and Mueller is about to show us the money trail. It’s just a matter of time before all the dots are connected.

The saddest part of this whole story is that the Russian response to the indictment was apropos, “Americans only see what they want to see.” For so many Trumpers, it’s always been that way. Their love for alternative facts was the candy that Russia lavished upon them.

There’s more coming, folks, and if we’re lucky, Trump will get exactly what he has always deserved.

I had to invent a word to describe it: trumpcompetence

twentytwentynews, politics, surreal times, trump

Franklin, Contributor

The word most often used to characterize Trump’s dazzling ignorance and epic displays of ineptitude is “incompetence”, yet it lacks the descriptive power and intrinsic nuance necessary to accurately depict the terrifying chaos he perpetually creates at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Each and every day, there’s a fresh load of proverbial feces hitting the fan in the Oval Office, thrown from his little hands and spewing incessantly from his incoherent maw.

Look, I’m just a middle-class Canine-American trying to launch a news blog and I am just as tired as everyone else who must write about Trump’s daily tweets, imbecilic gaffes, and his uncanny ability to make decisions that harm all but his elitist golf buddies. I am beginning to wear a thunder-shirt and pop a few doggie downers when I have to watch the news. I’m burying bones in fear of the coming Trumpocalypse. As I watch the tremendous and bigly dangerous buffoonery of Trump, I struggle as an editor, with no opposable thumbs, to find synonyms and idioms to attach to his unique amalgam of stupidity, covfefe, and self-worship.

So, I’ve decided to call it “trumpcompetence”.  Here’s how it would look in a dictionary:

  • trump·com·pe·tence

Pronounced: trəmpˈkämpədəns. Noun. The singular and, heretofore, unmatched ability of Donald John Trump to lie in a pathological manner while performing obscene acts of narcissism and simultaneously engaging in the act of destroying government institutions, norms, and protocols through evil, juvenile intent and/or maladroit amateurishness. Please note: incompetence demonstrates a higher proficiency and success rate than trumpcompetence.

Ex. 1, “His whiny insistence on spending millions of dollars on an unnecessary military parade to prove to Little Rocket Man that his missile was bigger and more potent was, indeed, the height of trumpcompetence.”

Ex. 2, “The Republican Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, decided to release a misleading partisan memo revealing classified information in an ongoing investigation critical of the intelligence community to derail the Trump/Russia probe in a desperate act of trumpcompetence that borders on treason.”

Synonyms: bat-shit crazy, Twitler, dumbfuckery, and trumped-up horseshit.

Antonyms: Obama, proficiency, and “the right way of doing it”.

Thankfully, recorded history has few instances that can be compared to trumpcompetence. Nero fiddling while Rome burned or annual recipients of the Darwin Award bear close resemblance, but fail to match Trump’s stamina and consistency when it comes to screwing things up on a regular basis.

Trumpcompetence also has severe, unintended side-effects that have adversely affected conservatives. For example, they have found ways to justify Trump’s payment of $130,000 in hush money to his porn star mistress to earn a “mulligan” from evangelicals. Conservatives that have succumbed to trumpcompetence suddenly embrace huge deficits, uncontrollable growth in the nation’s debt, and now claim to love unlimited government spending.

Even in Alabama, conservative cognitive dissonance is intoxicating as trumpcompetence threatens to destroy NAFTA, which could eliminate 70,000 jobs in the reddest of red states. Further, they celebrate the trumpcompetence of Attorney General Jeff Sessions as he reignites the failed War on Drugs as the solution to the nation’s opioid crisis, which has left a trail of corpses in Alabama. No matter the failure or suffocating stench of the latest trumpcompetence, they are eager to trade in their core beliefs and values to claim they are worn out from all the winning.

Trumpcompetence is why the White House can’t keep staff or fill the hundreds of key positions that have been vacant for over a year. Trumpcompetence is why a Middle East peace deal is now as elusive as a glimpse of Trump’s tax returns. Trumpcompetence is the brazen arrogance of an orange real estate grifter who thinks that no one will ever figure out his glaringly obvious Russian money laundering operation.

Ah, with fond nostalgia, we miss the incompetence of President George W. Bush because it was a huge step up from the trumpcompetence we’re watching today. Even Trump would have to admit that we “misunderestimated” George Bush’s “strategery”.

Well, we can’t wait to see Trump’s second string of White House staffers. Surely, they will perform with the historic trumpcompetence that we’ve come to expect from a man who’s too busy pleasuring himself during “executive time” to be bothered with classified intelligence briefings.

Something tells me that the events that will likely occur under year two of Trump may make the word trumpcompetence obsolete before it even takes off.

We’ll do this again soon, but I gotta go, I’m suddenly feeling trumpstipated…

Republicans and Wall Street are Sticking it to Consumers, Again

Wall Street, Greed

Jerry Waters, Contributor

In another blatant and shameless move to screw over consumers so that Wall Street can get away fraud without fear of meaningful punishment, the Republican-led Congress just passed a bill that would make it extremely difficult, if not impossible, for customers to sue banks without going through mandatory third-party arbitration.

The problem is that the people doing the arbitration are hired by Wall Street. Not exactly a disinterested “third-party”, are they? The other big problem is that these arbitration proceedings are done in secret and that they don’t have to follow the same procedures as a court of law.

This egregious legislation comes right after Wells Fargo Bank was caught red-handed signing up thousands of their customers for banking products without their knowledge. It comes on the heels of Equifax negligently allowing their customer’s data to be hacked and dragging their feet in notifying them and fixing the problem.

Also, this comes at a time when the Trump administration is doing everything it can to dismantle the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) because it wants less regulations for banks and Wall Street. Republicans have this bizarre philosophy that it’s ok to screw people over if it’s buried somewhere in the fine print. They really believe that banks should be able to take huge risks with your money and that if things don’t pan out, you shouldn’t complain and you certainly shouldn’t try to hold financial institutions responsible. You know, buyer beware. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the last push toward deregulation lead right into the collapse of the housing market and into The Great Recession?

The CFPB rule would stopped banks from forcing customers to sign mandatory arbitration agreements and it would allow them to join together in class-action suits and file other types of legal challenges. Ironically, even if consumers had the ability to sue banks for fraud and other malfeasance, the banks still have a monumental advantage because they have armies of well-paid attorneys to defend them.

Of course, Republicans argued that the price of credit cards and banking would go up and that consumers would suffer if they had the ability to sue banks for their fraudulent practices. Republicans don’t want to talk about how banks routinely screw people out of money and get away with it. They don’t want to talk about how fines are usually a mere slap on the wrist or how blatant criminal activity by top executives is either ignored or rewarded with a giant gold parachute. Republicans really don’t want to talk about the crazy amount of cash they receive as campaign contributions from Wall Street.

Trump and his rich cronies hate the CFPB and they will continue to do everything they can dilute consumer protections in the market. When Richard Cordray, head of the CFPB, remarked, “Wall Street won and ordinary people lost.”, he was met with an unusually rude response from Sen. Tom Cotton who replied, ““The unelected Mr. Cordray issued yet another stupid regulation that would have hurt consumers, the people’s democratically elected representatives voted to stop the regulation, and now Mr. Cordray whines that Congress stopped his stupid regulation. It’s well past time for Mr. Cordray to resign and begin his long-expected losing campaign for Governor of Ohio. If he won’t, President Trump should fire him.” Yeah, it’s not too hard to figure out who Cotton is in bed with, is it?

Folks, this is just the beginning of Trump’s many gifts to the wealthy. As he continues his insane push for more deregulation, more people are going to be hurt and more consumers are going to get screwed.

You’re about to get trumped right in the….